“A book must be the axe for the frozen sea within us.”
Franz Kafka
I wouldn’t call myself a bibliotherapist, though I have spent enough time sitting across from people – in my therapy room and online – and sitting alone with a book in my hand to know that they are not so different. Some books have done for me what I hope my therapy does for my clients: given me a new perspective, another way of looking at my life, or provided me with genuinely useful information.
With that in mind, I offer just a few recommendations – books that I have found immensely useful and that often come up in my work with clients. Not a definitive list, or ‘top five’, just what comes to mind in this moment. I believe reading itself can be therapeutic in its own right; these are simply suggestions for where you might start if you’d like to read for healing.
Mindfulness for Beginners – Jon Kabat-Zinn
“While we may long for wholeness, the great irony is that it is already here in any and every moment, and it is already ours.”
This small, meaningful book first came into my life just as I was beginning to develop a love of meditation. At the time, I knew very little about mindfulness, aside from that it seemed you sat very still and ‘cleared your mind’. I had great trouble ‘clearing my mind’ and found it freeing to be taught to simply pay attention to what is -even if what is happens to be a lot of noise and jumbled up thoughts.
This book includes a CD with really good guided meditations. I loved the eating one. Who knew a single grape could hold so much experience in its small, ridiculous, explosive body.
Truly, there has been nothing that has made a difference to my life like developing a mindfulness practice, and I would recommend no book above this for getting started with it.
Love Poems From God – Daniel Ladinsky
“One regret that I am determined not to have…”
My adventures in meditating eventually led me to practising under a teacher who often used the works of Rumi, Kabir and Hafiz in his talks. I was on retreat with him in Australia in 2016 when I came across this book of versions and adaptations by Daniel Ladinsky, which included those three poets, and others. To this day, there is no single book of poetry that I return to more often.
I think Ladinsky captures something that I have not felt from other translators or interpreters. One short poem, One Regret (which I can’t put here because of copyright), just 24 words, has helped shape my life. Life is precious and fleeting – this poem reminds me a life lived too carefully is a life lived with regret.
The Outsider – Albert Camus
“My mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know. I received a telegram from the old people’s home: ‘Mother deceased. Funeral tomorrow. Very sincerely yours.’ That doesn’t mean anything. It might have been yesterday.”
This is how the story begins. I offer nothing else so as not to influence your reading of this incredible book, except this: as you read, what is lacking in Meursault’s response to his life? And what role is the sun playing?
Mythos – Stephen Fry
“For the world seems never to offer anything worthwhile without also providing a dreadful opposite.”
I believe that myths, fairy tales and legends can tell us more about ourselves than any book on psychology, philosophy or anthropology. The Greek myths are exceptionally layered, wonderfully engaging and illustrative of the human condition, and Stephen Fry offers an accessible way to connect with these timeless stories.
Rather than just stories, see if you can spend time deeply with each and ponder, where do I find this inside myself? Is there an Athena in me, an Apollo, a Hades? Do these myths play out in my own inner life? Is there a Kronos inside us, swallowing the unborn children of our possibility? Where can we find the Zeus in us, to release what has been trapped?
The Death of Ivan Ilyich – Leo Tolstoy
“Ivan Ilyich’s life had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible.”
For people that have fallen out of, or have never really read, Tolstoy can be an off-putting name. Especially if they’ve seen the size of War and Peace. But there may be no greater literature to turn to in life than Russian, and The Death of Ivan Ilyich is a good way to get started. When I first read it, it shook me to my core and offers a lesson we can’t afford to ignore, though I will leave you to take from it whatever you do. Ridiculously beautifully written, it’s a short story that can be read in one sitting and never forgotten.
Why We Sleep – Matthew Walker
“The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.”
A very practical recommendation, but it comes with a word of warning. Aside from Orwell, Matthew Walker has produced by far the scariest book I have ever read. Forgive the mixed metaphors, but it ‘woke me up’ to how important sleep is and just how much I had neglected it in my life. I’ve had trouble sleeping since I was a boy, and had rarely, if ever, up until this point got 8 hours of sleep a night. Reading this helped me to understand how drastic that problem was, on everything from my memory, ability to be present and focus up to life expectancy. I’m by no means perfect with it now, but never doubt the importance of sleep after reading this book and take my sleep a lot more seriously.
When therapy works, it is an encounter that leaves us changed for having experienced it. The same can be said of a great book, and each of these has left a mark on me that I’m glad to have had. I wouldn’t look at life the way I do now if it weren’t for these – and so many more – books. Next time you are deciding which book to spend your precious, limited time on, you can’t go far wrong by picking one of these. More to follow.
